Stop sabotaging yourself

Photograph by Ulaş and Merve

By Erica Dunn

We have all heard the phrase, we are our own worst enemies. Right? Self-sabotaging behaviors begin with the way we speak to ourselves. It’s hard to be easy on ourselves so we have to be reminded to speak kindly to ourselves, especially to our bodies. Look directly into the mirror and say to yourself that you are enough! You are doing the best that you can in this very moment. By practicing mindfulness, you will begin to catch yourself and correct your thought patterns. Often times we get so caught up in repetitive thoughts… What does my boss think of me? Do I sound stupid? Do I look fat in this outfit? All of these thoughts are swimming around and we can’t seem to catch them. They come and go throughout the day and some linger longer than others. When you catch yourself in the middle of one of these thoughts, you can interrupt the behavior and begin to get out of your own way. 

When we allow ourselves to step aside, it can feel surreal. We become more receptive and open to new ideas, new opportunities and meeting new people. It feels like our brain has more capacity to take more in and think creatively when we were foggy before because we were preoccupied and absorbed by those thoughts. We can have deeper connections with others by having meaningful conversations. When we get out of our way, we can honestly listen to others. We can pay full attention and listen instead of wandering off or just thinking about how we can respond. 

In order to manifest change, we need to have an enhanced understanding of ourselves. Ask yourself, how do you add value to the world and how can you achieve your goals in doing so? Big question, huh? Focusing on external things won’t help you manifest your best life. 

 

These five steps will help you get out of your own way, refocus and open yourself up to new possibilities: 

  1. Gather your experiences and remember why you are doing what you are doing in the first place.
     
  2. Celebrate your wins – acknowledge all of your accomplishments. Look back to see how far you’ve come.
     
  3. Let go of the idea of perfection – When will it ever be enough?
     
  4. Gratitude – Give gratitude to yourself, your mind and body, for all the hard work you’ve done. Give gratitude to those who have supported you along the way – your mentors, cheerleaders, parents etc.
     
  5. Strategy – Create a structured plan. Set goals, execution and deadlines for yourself. Hold yourself accountable, stick to your deadlines and don’t let yourself get in the way!  

 

In short:

It's important to get out of our own way in order to manifest change. Self-sabotaging behaviors begin with the way we speak to ourselves. We need to have an enhanced understanding of ourselves. Ask yourself, how do you add value to the world and how can you achieve your goals in doing so?  These 5 steps will help you get out of your own way, refocus and open yourself up to new possibilities!  


Erica Joy Dunn is a Reiki Master and Certified Holistic Health Counselor in Brooklyn, New York. She is an intuitive marketing and brand strategist as well as the Editor In Chief of The Wellness Mercantile which is a monthly magazine that celebrates women in the wellness industry and the movement towards collective consciousness.